A lot of changes take place in a girl’s life when she gets married. Her home, parents, relatives, friends & near and dear ones; all of these form a new relations. Moreover, you can also observe a big change in their way of living, their lifestyle, dressing, likes and dislikes… But out of all these moments, the question takes birth in mind that how and what to change in yourself for a healthy relationship? Or what’s the limit to change yourself to keep your relationship alive? Friends! You need to seriously understand such an important topic & filter out that what makes a healthy relationship.
I would by sharing an incident seen by my naked eyes which actually forced me to put up this article in front of you.
I went to a disc last night and I saw a married couple quarrelling on the dance floor itself. The wife was arguing with her husband that ‘she cannot dance with him like this in public because she did not like it’. On the contrary, the husband was bit harsh saying that ‘can’t you dance a little with me for my happiness? I mean what would be the problem if you are with me? Even I don’t like to have spicy food at all, but still I have it with you at restaurants and parties just because you like it. Couldn’t you bring a change in yourself for the sake of my happiness?’
I actually conclude that it’s nothing new what’s going on between these guys here. When you are just married, it becomes tough to adjust with the nature of your partner. More importantly, you get stuck when there is a need to change in yourself for a healthy relationship. Sometimes you change yourself willingly & other times, you also have to change yourself against your will as your priority is always to save your relationship. If you can find solutions with love and sweetness, then it’s always good. (Read: 7 Secrets to Spice Up Your Long Distance Love Relationship)
There are some common topics related to change that becomes a basic agenda between couples. It could be the dressing style of your partner, their likes and dislikes, ways to keep things properly at home, topic related to unbalanced sexual relationships, home related problems and other family responsibilities, or personal habits.
All these are the major issues that become the reason of fight about the change in you. Rather, try to know why and how much your partner wants you to change. Plus, whether the change he is expecting from you is even justifiable? Try to give your best shot to keep your relationship balanced. (Read: Quick Tips to Avoid Misunderstandings)
Sit with your partner, understand the need of an hour and change in yourself wherever necessary.
Embrace yourself with these healthy relationship tips that will make it easier for you to know how & what to change in yourself for a healthy relationship.
How much to Change in Yourself?
Many a times, the happiness of your partner depends upon the likings & disliking of his parents or any other relatives. Hence, you have to also change according to them in many ways. But always take care that you should be ready to bring a change in yourself in a limit so that it does not kill your dreams & thoughts. Moreover, go for it if you strongly believe that you need to inculcate change in yourself for a healthy relationship. Do not force yourself to change or else, it will later cause you a problem in long run. (Read: 4 Secret Tips for a Healthy Relationship | Relationship Advice)
Apart from what your partner’s wish, you should also be focussed and respect the feelings and needs of other family members. Once you decide to change, just do it with full loyalty & confidence. Trust me! You will find these healthy relationship tips fruitful once you apply them on your relations.
What to Change in Yourself?
This is a bitter truth of every relationship that when it comes to adjusting or compromise for a change, things gets so worse between the couple that they even reach the level of divorce. One of the important thought behind this is that in today’s world, everyone loves his/her independence at any cost. Gone are the days when a newly married bride keeps her head & face covered with saree while the pricking hot summers are on. (Read: 5 Things You Should Not Tell Your Partner About Your EX)
A psychologist says about it that ‘the married couple remains happy and satisfied with each other till the time they are ready to understand and change some of their habits and likings according to each other’s wish. But when they start demanding for multiple changes in each and every small activity, then the sourness enters in your relationship.
All we need to is that we should understand the needs and feelings of our partner & then bring a change in yourself for a healthy relationship. (Read: 15 Best Counseling for Abusive Relationship Secrets to Know)
1. Appraise your Partner for giving it a Try at Least
My friends! Love is the weapon that could easily win battles. There is nothing to lose & fear in this regards.
For instance- You did not like that your husband drinks alcohol, although occasionally. So, if you can see that he has reduced drinking to an extreme level just because you do not like it, then you should appreciate his willingness that he is trying his best at least. You should not repeat again and again the same thing that I don’t like it at all and I can’t bear it at all…etc. you have to understand that he has got your point and he will reduce more or may end his drinking habit soon. This way, your partner will not feel that the change is becoming a burden on him. (Read: 7 Romantic Ideas for Her | Healthy Relationship Tips)
Moral of the story is that if your partner is slowly bringing a change in himself, then give him/her a token of appreciation for what he/she is trying to do for their relationship. Do not save your words, just split them out showering love and respect for your partner.
2. Do not Keep the Feeling of Revenge
If you are ready bring some change in yourself for the sake of your partner’s happiness, there is no problem at all. Moreover, then do not expect from your partner to instantly change in themselves just because you did for them. Else, it may give birth to feeling of taking revenge.
For instance, if your non-vegetarian hubby knows that you are a pure vegetarian & even if he frequently requests you to try non-veg with him, then make him understand with love & humbleness. He will understand for sure and could even stop bringing non-veg at home. This will build up a healthy relationship between the two. But if you will be harsh to reply or to stop eating non-veg, then it could lead to a major loss in your relationship. (Read: 7 Tips to Stop Fights | Healthy Relationship Advice)
Guys! Don’t make the change as your agenda of self-respect. Keep this thing in mind that if you are ready to bring change in yourself for the happiness of your love, then he/she would themselves try to change.
3. Understand the Situation First
One of the housewives shared her thought with me in this regards. She says that ‘I was in habit of doing all household chores & making food even before taking the shower. This was something that my hubby could not digest as soon as we get married. He understands that just because it was my daily routine before marriage, that’s why I am taking the time to change my habit. Later, he made me understand with love that why I should take the bath first and then cook food. So, I started taking bath early morning and this way, everyone can bring a change in yourself for a healthy relationship by working on little things between you guys.’ (Read: 5 signs You Are in a Healthy Relationship)
Actually, it rarely happens that your partner likes each and every thought and & talks you do. Rather, you might be pressurizing your partner for changing their habit. So do not panic or get angry in such situations. Moreover, try to handle the situation with love & understand the other side of the story.
Sit with your love and make him understand with ease. I am sure you will get what you are looking for – A Change.
4. Do not Interfere in each and every Things
It has been seen that you usually becomes possessive and starts interrupting in every small activity of your partner. You need to understand that showing love and your right on your partner’s activities is cool at some point only. Later, it starts giving the feeling of clutches rather than love. So, keep an expectation from your partner to level that you can also outline for you. Change yourself for the sake of your relationship and make your life easy and simple to live. (Read: 7 Romantic Ideas for Him | Healthy Relationship Tips)
Categorised in: Relationship